I hate being like this!

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tomorrow, i will move to jogja. Never mind, i will live in jogja, alone. And now, i hate being like this. Awkward. Between i and mom. I hate when i cant tell to mom, what i mean. What i want, what i need. I hate!!! hate being introvert like this. I just can say it in my heart. Just i and god, know that.
Shit..really shit!!!! I BLAME MYSELF TO BE LIKE THIS. I CANT TELL ANYTHING! I CANT SAY ANYTHING! ITS REALLY HARD FOR ME! I HATE BEING LIKE THIS!!!!


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And for now, i regret it... Im really sorry mom..
I suddenly cry when i remembered my mom.. Now, I just can tell my problem to my lovely god.. So GOD, always with me please... I'm nothing without you...